Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The fear of being imposed upon

Diana has great ideas and a ton of energy. She speaks with conviction, she makes a great impression. But, she's never been happy with her job. She feels she should be making more money and have more people people working under her. I'd guess her husband feels sorry for her and looks at her company in a less than flattering way.

Here's the truth about Diane. She is smart and has a ton of energy. But she has one overwhelming fear in her life that taints her performance, relationships and results: fear of being imposed upon.

She is reluctant to commit to a project, to put in extra time to make it great or to really help fellow co-workers--because she fears being sucked into more work and fears she'll not be rewarded appropriately.

I've known many great people with this fear and none had a smooth road. They were either that enigma at the office--the disgruntled person who seemed to have it all together but never lived up to her potential, or the person that was constantly pushed and prodded to do what they had to do. In neither case, does the person have great relations with co-workers or lead a fulfilling work life.

To those of us with the fear of being imposed upon--why not move forward with trust? Trust that you will be rewarded fairly (even if not on your timetable). Trust that helping others is rewarding for you, and in most cases will not be stuck doing that additional work forever. Trust that throwing away this fear will also make you more employable and more enjoyable.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond

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