Pleasing the unpleasable

Dealership salespeople will tell you it is almost impossible to please some people. Very true. According to research, the worst thing you can do is to try to please them to make them happy. It won't work.

A difficult person will be suspicious of your intentions of pleasing, so don't please, give them a dose of reality in a pleasant respectful, but firm, manner. Don't massage the truth, don't b.s., don't laugh at every joke they tell (if they tell any), just purely be who you are, ask the tough questions, tell the tough truths and seriously, sincerely put yourself in their shoes as you recommend or advise them.

All of the above non-pleasing activity will result in them being very pleased.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com

Negativity Cycle

We all hate negativity, who doesn't? Even a negative person hates negativity. Here's a thought from all the years I've run a business and have worked with large corporations and dealers and watched them handle issues and people.

I believe that negativity doesn't pop up out of nowhere--seldom is a person just "mean" and likes to bring everyone down. Often, not always, the negative situation is fueled by a series of non-confrontations: various people avoiding expressing their concern or busy people putting off an undesirable talk.

As this cycle of non-confrontation continues, the stakes get higher, the pressure raises and at some point, someone (either the person most frustrated or the person who is most outspoken) blurts out something that is concerned "negative." Then the recipient of the outburst usually feels sorry for himself or herself, maybe angry, confused--and that's understandable because "up till now nobody had said anything."

I think we can reduce the negative situations one step at a time if we can address little issues before they grow. The good news is that if we do that, those issues are not nearly as difficult to deal with when they're small as when we leave them to grow.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
http://www.labov.com/

Not my fault

I think the toughest thing we face in our business and personal lives is accountability. We just find it hard to accept that we have caused something to go wrong or that we simply aren't up to the task.

Some of us over-compensate and say that everything is our fault--but we really don't believe that inside. Admit it, it's far more pleasurable to point a finger at someone else than to point it back at ourselves. So why do that, if you don't have to?

Because it sets you free.

Sincerely admitting a shortcoming allows you to face what you've been fearing (looking bad, for example), it stops destruction because it's all out in the open and it gives you a chance to do extraordinary things--things you have not been doing such as asking for help or getting to the bottom of the issues that really trip you up or maybe even realizing that you're trying your darnedest to do something you (maybe nobody) can do.

Or you can point a finger at someone else. And the stress and worry continue.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond Marketing Communication and Training
www.labov.com