Silence--why? Part Five: Louder than words

Whether it's the CEO who is in meetings with the accountants or the dealership salesperson who hasn't returned your call on that new car you talked to her about or if it's the email that has remained unanswered for weeks...count on this:

People notice silence. Silence is louder than words. 

Silence is like a baseball cap or cowboy hat that a bald guy always wears. Think of the country music stars that wear those big cowboy hats. What are they hiding? Probably baldness.

Silence is like that crazy make-up or wild outfits that a pop singer wears. What's she hiding underneath all of that? Probably average-ness.

We all view silence in that way. What is she hiding? Why won't he at least respond? She must not respect me, he must must think he's too good to waste time on me.

It's time we all took off our hats, our make-up,  our shield of silence and just showed who we really are. We don't have all the answers or all the time in the world, but we can show respect to those we work with, live with or sell to by responding to them now.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com

Silence--why? Part Four: Teflon

So, your team is desperately trying to overcome a customer issue and you really need all hands on deck, but you don't hear back from two of your team members. The rest of the group functions well, but the people missing in action could really help. Yet all you hear is silence. That could mean:

1. They don't care
2. They feel they're too busy to respond
3. They are afraid to do anything at all

This silence is often used for another purpose: to allow that person to be avoid the responsibility for the failure, but to be able to jump in and share the glory of the success, if either of those situations happen.

The invisible team members in that case, ares Teflon, nothing sticks to them. And quite often a busy team will not address that with Mr. Teflon because they are too busy doing his job to do that.

Solution: Jump in. Be transparent. Not Teflon.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com

Silence--why? Part Three: Catch me if you can

When you have a seemingly simple communication with someone over email and the other person doesn't email back to acknowledge or agree that could mean:

1. They don't agree
2. They do agree
3. They aren't sensitive to basic communication

Or very likely, they think that their silence will now allow them to take control. It's now your turn to wonder, to fret, to track down or to throw your hands in the air and give up.

Taking control via silence does not work. The person doing that is not viewed positively and the don't have true "control" over anything. They are viewed as road bumps in every endeavor they're involved in. And often they wonder why are they not respected or revered as they would like.

Simple solution: Answer back. Now. Clearly.  Respectfully.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com

Silence--why? Part Two: Was it something I didn't say?

When we asked for help and we hear nothing back, why is that?
Maybe the person you asked:

1. Feels they're too busy (important) to respond to you
2. Doesn't know what to say and is avoiding sticking their neck out
3. Doesn't care
4. Routinely ignores emails or voicemails and doesn't care the consequences
5. Drawing the line because your request was after hours or on the weekend and they are letting you know their personal time is more important than helping you

Maybe you did something that will allow people to not respond:

1. You asked too many people (mass email)
2. You didn't spell out your situation clearly and when you needed a response
3. You don't respond to others in similar situations and they're just giving it back to you

Silence is a two-way street. If you don't give input, don't expect it. In fact, count on it.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com

Silence--why? Part One

Silence can be a weapon. It can show disinterest, disagreement, disrespect, etc.

When we email for help, call and leave a voicemail with an idea, or spend time with someone and all we hear back is crickets, it's up to interpretation.

The effort it takes to communicate, respond or at least acknowledge you received the cry for help, is minimal. So, why the crickets?

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com