Emotions and workplace

A very close friend of mine worked at a huge conglomerate for decades. They gave him the good news that he could choose to retire and get a severance package. He chose the package and left. He had put in years of work there but when he left he wasn't crying over it, he was unemotional.

Then he landed a job at a small entrepreneurial shop and for the first time in his life was engaged in his work. He was also stressed to the max trying to keep up with the pace and deal with the culture there, which was very unique. The owner was a charismatic, brilliant guy who had a ton of bravado.

Well, the unthinkable happened, my close friend was fired one day, out of the blue (as far as he was concerned). He was given no notice, no warning, just "pick up your personal belongings and leave now." Here's what's interesting to me:

He now hates that place with every fiber of his soul--the very place where he was totally engaged, where he felt he was making a difference for the first time in his life.

In the case of losing a job or not being able to keep up, it's not the cold, mediocre companies that we hate, it's the one in which we felt most important, where our heart was most engaged, that's the one we despise.

And to be accurate, I believe that the charismatic leader of that company probably didn't know the full extent of the situation, he was probably played by a few people that wanted my buddy out of there.

No matter, the more personal and unique your culture, the more likely the emotions, both good and bad.

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com
LaBov Sales Channel
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Business and Dating

Here's a bizarre question. When you were a teenager and were dating (that's what they called it back in my day), how did you behave toward the opposite sex? Did you grovel or act weak? Did you complain about your previous dates with other people? Did you storm off and act like a child to get attention? Did you get dates because people felt sorry for you? Did we attract people because we were a cheaper date than someone else?

OK, now let's turn this back around to business. Let's assume we all know that attracting someone is not about acting as described above. Why then do so many of us act that way in business?

For example: we find out the client has been cheating on us. Our response is telling them how hurt we are and how much we care so they feel sorry. Or we send a nasty-gram email to lash out at them. Or if we're trying to land a new client, do we brag that we're not the best, but boy! are we cheap? None of those work well in personal relationships, why would they in business?

The reason a person wants to marry someone and stay married to them is very close to why a company wants to hire another company and stay with them. Bottom-line, we are attracted to people or to companies because we feel they have a value to us, we respect them, and we WANT to be with them.

What works (or doesn't work) in personal life usually works (or doesn't work) in business.

Barry LaBov
LaBov and Beyond
www.labov.com
LaBov Sales Channel
PB&J Newsletter

Chatter

I am a big fan of the TV show "24." Frequently when they're trying to figure out how to stop a dastardly plot, they monitor the chatter on the Internet or cell phones or whatever, searching for clues.

Our workplace is full of chatter. A lot of talk, a lot of issues, a lot of opinions--chatter.

If we stop and pay attention to the volume of chatter going on, one thing will emerge: the realization that we allow chatter to take the place of actually doing something productive.

Think about a particular problem that has been discussed for months or years--a lot of gnashing of teeth and frustrations, but yet we still hear about it. Nothing seems to change. That's chatter.

We have to face the fact we allow chatter to be an acceptable or even preferred alternative to actually doing something. Imagine if we didn't allow the chatter and focused on each issue, solving them the best we can?

Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com
LaBov Sales Channel
PB&J Newsletter