A ton of bricks fell on me one day. Actually it was more a ton of revelations fell on me. Here goes:
Am I trying to be the ideal parent for my children by being the parent I wish I could have had? It sounds good, but my children are different than me. They don't need the parent I wish I had. They need the parent they need to have. Big difference.
Likewise, am I trying to be the boss or leader that I wish I had when I was younger? If so, is that the boss my employees really need? Probably not.
Busted.
Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Punishment
A dealer doesn't meet its quota
An employee continually fails to perform her job
A division loses millions of dollars for its corporationThe above scenarios are frustrating, all-too-common and seem to point to one response: punishment. Something has to happen, someone needs to feel the pain, there must be consequences... Right?
Usually what happens is: nothing. Then after numerous repetitions of the above, something does happen, the dam breaks and there are firings, quittings, reductions, penalties, etc.
The real problem is that punishment should be the least common response because there are responses that are far more effective. They include: better communication, improving relationships and training. If those happened as a rule, there would seldom be a need for punishment.
Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com
An employee continually fails to perform her job
A division loses millions of dollars for its corporationThe above scenarios are frustrating, all-too-common and seem to point to one response: punishment. Something has to happen, someone needs to feel the pain, there must be consequences... Right?
Usually what happens is: nothing. Then after numerous repetitions of the above, something does happen, the dam breaks and there are firings, quittings, reductions, penalties, etc.
The real problem is that punishment should be the least common response because there are responses that are far more effective. They include: better communication, improving relationships and training. If those happened as a rule, there would seldom be a need for punishment.
Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com
Monday, March 28, 2011
Everyone has a story--two ways to look at it
I was fortunate to be in a workshop where I heard two people say exactly the same phrase yet express two totally different beliefs. Here's the phrase:
Lady #1 uttered the phrase as she complained about her "no-good tenants" (she's a landlord) and said that she never listened to her tenants' sob stories about why the rent was late. "Everyone has a story" she coldly and bitterly stated.
Lady #2 told of a breakthrough she had with her ex-husband's new wife and how she learned of that lady's struggles and faith, which transformed their relationship from contentious to compassionate, "Everyone has a story," she said with a smile.
Same phrase, different meanings and different outcomes for the people who spoke it.
Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com
Everyone has a story
Lady #1 uttered the phrase as she complained about her "no-good tenants" (she's a landlord) and said that she never listened to her tenants' sob stories about why the rent was late. "Everyone has a story" she coldly and bitterly stated.
Lady #2 told of a breakthrough she had with her ex-husband's new wife and how she learned of that lady's struggles and faith, which transformed their relationship from contentious to compassionate, "Everyone has a story," she said with a smile.
Same phrase, different meanings and different outcomes for the people who spoke it.
Barry LaBov
LaBov & Beyond
www.labov.com
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